Lost in Starlight (Starlight Saga) Read online

  Gazing down at him, I make a snap decision. Not a logical one.

  “Wait there,” I say and close the window.

  Quickly brushing out my hair, I decide to let it dry naturally, then hurry downstairs and out the front door. Brisk morning air envelopes me, the skies crammed with lazy sunshine and chirping birds. The spring weather in Northern California can be fickle; freezing cold one day and blistering hot the next. And right now, I’m like a hurricane ready to blow.

  Hayden is waiting for me near his SUV, and I keep a safe distance between us.

  “Tama is not my girlfriend. Honest.” He briefly closes his eyes and rubs his forehead with long fingers. “She’s just a good friend and we’ve...well, hooked up a few times last year. She goes to my old school in Castro Valley, but I haven’t seen her in months.”

  “Let me guess, sucking face is how they greet people on your planet? Nice try.” I cross my arms and glance at my boots. I need something to look at other than his gorgeous face. Otherwise, I’m in serious danger of stupidly believing everything he says.

  “That’s just Tama...you weren’t jealous, were you?”

  Yes!

  My head snaps up and I throw my hands in the air. “I just don’t want to get caught up in some warped love triangle. I don’t need the drama.”

  He bobs his head, his arms wide at his sides. “Fine. I get that.”

  I shuffle two steps closer to him. Huge mistake. The closer I get, the higher my body temperature rises.

  “Let’s just say last night was a colossal mistake,” I say firmly, resolved to stick to my guns.

  Hayden takes my hand, causing my heart to skip an alarming number of beats. I hazard a glance at his face. Bad move. God, those remarkable eyes. A person could die happy just gazing into them. But. Not. Me. I will not be a weak, simpering ball of need.

  “Please believe me, Sloane. It’s over with Tama,” he says in a soft voice. “And I don’t want to pretend that last night never happened. We had a moment, right? You must’ve felt it, too.”

  “Was that the moment you had with me or with Tama?” I jerk my hand from his. “Or maybe she’s more your kind? Is she a hybrid, too?”

  Hayden kicks at the ground. “Yes.” He glances anxiously at my face. “Just have breakfast with me, Sloane, so I can prove to you that I’m not a jerk.”

  Alone? With Hayden?

  Don’t do it. Do not do it.

  I stare at him, imagining a giant neon sign above his head that reads: WARNING! Lying-girlfriend-haver!

  While he stays quiet, I try to come up with a quick excuse. I cannot go. I need to keep this relationship strictly platonic. Because the whole time I’ll just be thinking about kissing that perfect mouth. His soft, warm lips—

  “Well, Peaches?” he asks. “Can we go someplace and talk?”

  My mind races. Dang it. I have nothing going on today, and I can’t even construct a reasonable lie. I really need a life outside of horror movies and shopping and journalism. Part of me is extremely curious about this Tama girl. And my damn curiosity is going to get me killed one of these days.

  I know I shouldn’t go, but I can’t resist that strange, irresistible pull of Hayden. Another look in those incredible eyes and I’m a goner. I am so gonna regret this.

  “Fine.” A sigh creeps past my lips. “I’ll go.”

  I climb into Hayden’s SUV, and we speed off in the direction of Haven Beach. The radio is off and the silence feels unbearable. How I’m going to manage keeping my shit together for the twenty-minute drive is beyond me. I swallow down a sudden lump in my throat. Dating Alien Boy is getting too complicated. Especially, when deep down I know he’s the type that’s all wrong for me, but just like chocolate, I can’t seem to stay away.

  Seconds tick by in silence. They feel more like decades.

  “How are you?” he asks.

  I look out the window. “I’m fine.”

  He inhales sharply. “You’re lying.” He reaches over the console and clasps my hand. “Look at me, please.”

  “I need a minute—”

  “Sloane, please.”

  Do not cry. Do not cry. Do not cry.

  “I was being stupid…I thought…” My gaze stays fixed on the houses blurring past. “Oh, I don’t know what I thought.” My voice is hoarse as I try to keep my emotions in check.

  He firmly squeezes my hand. “I’m really sorry…I just want to talk. No pressure or anything.”

  I don’t respond, but a small sigh escapes me.

  “I should’ve been honest from the beginning about everything,” he says. “I don’t know why I thought Tama would be a non-issue.”

  I tense at the mention of that bitch’s name.

  “There’s a lot I need to tell you.” He sighs and continues, “And I can’t gauge your reaction and drive at the same time…” his voice trails off.

  “Hayden,” I begin, my tone brittle. “I’m not quite sure how you’re going to explain everything, but I’m willing to listen.”

  I totally don’t need the silence that engulfs the interior of the car right then. The soft hum of the engine nearly drives me insane, and I think about recanting everything I just said.

  Hayden clears his throat. “Thank you. Your friendship means a lot to me.”

  I relax. A little. Not wanting to talk in the car anymore, I flip on the stereo and pick a radio station that plays alternative music. Christina Perri’s soulful voice fills the car with “Jar of Hearts,” and I feel as though my own heart is stuffed inside a jar and haphazardly sitting on the dashboard. Like I’m just waiting for a car to unexpectedly slam into the SUV and shatter—heart, jar, everything.

  Two more songs play, and I find myself thinking this was a shitty station to choose because both songs focus on bad breakups.

  As we approach the entrance to Haven Beach, the SUV slows, and Hayden flips on the blinker. The soft tick, tick, tick matches the racing of my heartbeat. I squeeze his fingers as he makes the turn, then let go of his hand.

  He parks and two joggers race past. We glance at a wrinkly old man in a yellow Speedo sunning himself. Cue Richard Simmons…

  Then red-faced, unquenchable hilarity hits us hard—a laughing fit that robs it’s victims of balance, sanity, and any shred of dignity. I’ve never heard Hayden laugh like this and the sound is like warm, melting chocolate on a hot summer day.

  When we regain control of ourselves, Hayden hops out and opens the back door to remove a small cooler, thermos, and blanket.

  Getting out of the car, I eye the stuff. “You were pretty sure I’d say yes.” And I’m not sure how I feel about that.

  “No. Only hoped.” Hayden regards me closely, his expression unreadable as he points at the beach. “C’mon, beyond this dune is a place where we can have some privacy.”

  We trample over the sand and find a shady spot near some thick bushes that block the stiff winds rolling off the water. A few clouds clump together, encroaching on the sun.

  Hayden lays out the blanket and sets down the cooler. He goes about removing food from the ice chest and placing the items on the blanket. A plastic bowl of fruit, a plate of croissants and strawberry crepes, and a bag of chocolate donuts. As far as breakfasts go, this is pretty dang yummy looking. He sits down and his lips quirk into an uneven grin. Can this guy be any sexier?

  He opens the thermos and pours hot black liquid into two plastic cups. “Cream or sugar?”

  I push away a stray lock of hair from my face. “Both, please.”

  He hands me a tiny vanilla creamer and a packet of sugar. His thigh brushes mine, and even through my jeans, the warmth of his body seeps through the fabric. Being near this guy is definitely hazardous to the barely manageable control I’m trying to maintain. That tiny shred of self-respect I’ve built to block the humiliation over seeing him with that boney skank wrapped around him like a pipe cleaner is threatening to collapse.

  Hayden briefly closes his eyes, and I glimpse a twinge of relief sweeping across h
is face. “I’m glad you came, Sloane.”

  “Why’s that?” I ask, sipping my coffee. “I am beginning to think that I’m just some kinky experiment to you. Like let’s see how far we can push the human?” I grit my teeth. I’m being such a bitch. But I can’t get the picture of him and Tama out of my head.

  “No. I swear, it’s just...” He sighs and glances at me. And then I feel it rippling in the air between us, that sizzling electricity. So palpable, it’s pulsing between us, drawing us closer together. He grips my hand and caresses my knuckles with his thumb. Every one of my muscles clenches tightly. “I really like you.”

  Doesn’t get much more transparent than that. Hayden’s fingers nudge mine, coaxing me. A shudder runs through me. Damn him.

  “I like you, too.” Feeling suddenly shy, I pull my hand away, and grab a piece of buttery croissant to nibble on. Because stuffing your face is just sooo sexy.

  He props his hands behind him and gazes out at the ocean. “I know I said that we can’t be more than friends, but for some reason...” Hayden’s jaw clenches as if trying to contain his emotions. “God help me, I think about you all the time lately. Like I can’t stop it or something. We haven’t known each other very long, but somehow you’ve gotten under my skin.”

  “Must be my snarky wit and sparkling personality,” I joke.

  His gaze warms and softens. “That must be it.”

  I look away at the calm and continuous motion of the water. The briny sea air thrashes our hair and kisses our cheeks.

  “Seriously, Hayden.” I turn back to him. “Maybe you’re right and we should just be friends. That way no one gets hurt—”

  “You still don’t get it, do you?” He leans forward and faces me. “It’s too late for that. You’ve done something to me, Sloane. Like I said, I can’t seem to stop thinking about you.” He takes a deep breath. “Maybe it’s because we shouldn’t get involved. It kind of makes our relationship more exciting, you know what I mean?”

  Yeah. Makes total sense.

  “Uh-huh. The whole forbidden fruit thing.” I put down the coffee to dust stray crumbs from my lap.

  “But that’s not the only reason I want to keep seeing you. I meant it when I said that I liked you. You’re so different from other girls.”

  “And you swear this isn’t some weird research you’re doing?” I squint at him. “Dating the human?”

  He laughs. “No. Although, I’ve never dated anyone outside of my species before.”

  Boy, that just sounds bizarre on too many levels.

  “Why not?” I ask.

  Hayden takes a bite of a doughnut, then wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Truthfully?”

  “Lay it on me.”

  He shreds the napkin and doesn’t look at me. “My mom told my brother and me that we could never have a real relationship with humans or have any children with them. It was too dangerous. Some, um, hybrids can get special permission to have human lovers, but our laws state that we’re basically only allowed to marry hybrid girls from the other families.”

  “Why?”

  “Because if a male has unprotected sex with a human and they get pregnant, the pregnancy duration of a hybrid baby is only about four months. The rapid growth means the mother will die.”

  Okayyy. So not what I was expecting to hear.

  “That’s why we have birth control, right?” I joke.

  But as I say those words, a shudder rakes my limbs. Not only do I have to worry about getting my memory wiped by evil government agents, I have to give serious thought about ever having sex with this guy. I mean, getting pregnant and exploding like a too-full tick gives new meaning to Just Say No. And if, by some crazy chance, Hayden is “the one,” it’d mean we’d never have a real family. Not that I’m even remotely ready at seventeen to have kids, but I still want that option. Being with Hayden just gets more and more complicated.

  “But it is kind of a big deal.” He stares at me, and I watch his internal struggle played out in those expressive eyes. “On the outside, we may look and act human, Sloane, but never forget that we are an evolved race of Homo-sapiens. And the Galactic Brotherhood often takes drastic measures to safeguard our secret.”

  “Like the memory erasing.” My heart turns over heavily. “Are you trying to scare the crap outta me?”

  “No. Just being honest.” He cocks his head to the side and the intensity in his gaze is unnerving. “But that’s only one reason Zeta hybrids are forbidden from marrying outsiders. It’s more about ensuring sub-human genes don’t dilute the bloodline. And I guess so we can further develop our special paranormal abilities.”

  Oh. My. Zombies. That’s a helluva lot to take in. Information overload.

  It suddenly hits me. This is the reason Hayden didn’t want to get involved at first. Why he warned me away. The strange things he’d said. No children combined with the whole nasty mind-erasing crap.

  “Then why do this? Why take the risk?” My reasons are discernible. Because I want him that badly, and that is reason enough in my book. But what are his?

  “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “No.”

  “Because I’m crazy about you, Sloane.”

  Oh—wow. Just wow. I need a minute to assemble my thoughts and control my emotions. I pull my knees up under my chin, hugging my shins as I look out at the choppy water. The waves swell, starting to splash their way up the beach.

  “Is it worth it to you?” he whispers. “I’d understand if you’re scared of the consequences of having a relationship with me.”

  “You mean, the mind-wiping threat? Yeah, that’s kind of freaking me out, but perhaps we can change things. Prove to the other hybrids that not all humans are untrustworthy.”

  He looks away. “Maybe…”

  Further down the shoreline, near some dense shrubbery, a man dressed in a black suit wearing dark sunglasses steps into view. Even though his eyes are hidden, I can sense him watching us like a hawk, his gaze trained on me.

  The guy stands out worse than a Goth at a pep rally!

  “Hayden, do you see that guy over there? The one dressed like a tax attorney?”

  He squints at where I’m pointing. “Sonofa—” he exhales and hastily puts the lid back on the thermos.

  A nag of unease stirs. My scalp prickles. “You know him? Who is he?”

  Hayden’s face pales and he throws the food back into the cooler. Sweat beads his brow. “Help me pack. We need to go. Now.”

  EIGHTEEN

  In one hand Hayden holds the cooler and blanket, and with the other, he jerks me by the wrist back toward his Range Rover. Behind us, the surf pounds the sand and wispy clouds pepper the sky. The cool ocean breeze whips my hair, sending a shiver down my back.

  “Hayden, slow down.” I try to free myself from his firm grasp, but his hold tightens. “What’s wrong with you?”

  Impatience flickers across his icy expression. “We need to go. It isn’t safe.”

  “You’re scaring me. Just tell me what’s going on.”

  “We’re being watched.”

  My breath catches. “Yeah, I know. By Mr. Dark Sunglasses.”

  The stern look on his face says he really doesn’t have time to explain the why behind our sudden departure from Haven Beach.

  Digging in my heels, I’m finally able to wrench my arm loose. “Stop! Who is that guy?”

  Hayden turns back to me, his lips pressed together. “His name is Agent Dixon, and he’s probably going to report this to Sector Thirteen, and then my parents are going to freak. My family is very conservative, Sloane, and they abide the rules.”

  “Rules? You mean the no hybrids-dating-humans crap?”

  “I’ll tell you everything, if you just get into the car. Please.” His voice is low and urgent.

  “Fine.” I follow him back to the Range Rover. Once we’re safely inside with the doors locked, I face him again. “Start talking.”

  “Dixon works in Sector Thirteen, that top-secret branch of the g
overnment I told you about. But it’s our leaders, the Galactic Brotherhood, who created the three simple rules that all hybrids are supposed to live by.” He shifts in his seat to check off each one with his fingers. “One, never trust full-blooded humans with our secrets. Two, human relations are strictly off limits. And three, don’t ever fall in love with one.”

  “That’s...awfully discriminative,” I mumble.

  “I suppose it is.”

  “And how do you feel about humans?”

  “Sloane, I am basically human, so I like ’em. Especially, feisty purple-haired ones.”

  “Get serious.” I roll my eyes. “Actually, I think Agent Dixon’s been following me.”

  Hayden nods, but he doesn’t seem surprised. “He closely monitors our activity, and he won’t care if we’re simply friends. But it’s the members of the Galactic Brotherhood that we need to worry about. They won’t like us dating. You being human and me—a hybrid.”

  This is all becoming a little too much like an intergalactic version of Romeo and Juliet. We can’t be together because of their stupid laws and so that they can keep the hybrid bloodline pure. What a load of bull crappy.

  “Can you stop Agent Dixon from telling the Brotherhood about us?” I ask.

  “I can try. But you also might be in danger now.”

  “What do you mean by danger?”

  “If they don’t already suspect that you know what I am by now,” he says in a low, intimidating voice, “it won’t be long until they know for sure. Then they might take extreme measures to ensure that you never tell anyone by wiping your memories. Especially, if we continue to see each other.”

  My heart skips a beat or two. “Do you still want that? To keep seeing me?”

  A sexy smile touches his lips. “More than the air I breathe, Sloane. Haven’t you been listening to what I’ve been saying all morning?” He looks at me intently. “But is it worth it to you? You have more at stake than I do…”

  “You already know how I feel about you.” I sigh, and a thrill shoots through my veins. “So does this mean we’re, like, dating?”

  “More like we’re secretly dating. I need to find a way to break it to my parents and my brother first, and then we can figure out a way to go public.”